How to Write a Play

The nature of showbusiness is such that plays are readily adapted into films in a manner that maintains the integrity of the original but also has the appeal of a Hollywood picture. It is with this in mind that I present to you the playwriting process, unabridged and without error. I hope this guide will help developing playwrites to hone their craft and usher in a golden age of playwriting and filmmaking. Go forth; heed my lessons and all will be well.

-Teddy Bosco


GUIDE TO PLAYWRITING BY TEDDY BOSCO
BY TEDDY BOSCO
edited by Teddy Bosco

Chapter 1
Getting Ideas for Plays

First you have to come up with an idea for a play. Come up with something that nobody has ever thought of before like a child who falls in love with a stuffed animal and ends up having sex with his sister and his mom. You could think of other ones like a blind guy who is sexually abused by a male gypsy king. Other ideas might include a guy who keeps horses in his house and forces his retarded stepchild to have sex with the horses, or an elderly widow who discovers four dead kittens in her bed because the crazy neighbor snuck in and stabbed them in the eyes with dried sticks of his own feces. Another possible plot could be this girl falls down a well and the well has pirhanas in it that her evil twin put in to kill her, and when the girl falls in she has her first period, and a shark in the well smells the blood and kills the girl. One more idea could be this guy who rapes and kills a bunch of his friends' grandmothers and then puts the corpses in bed with his friends while they're sleeping. Hopefully some of these ideas are getting your creative juices flowing so you can imagine some ideas of your own that are equally good.